St. Valentine’s Day is just around the corner, and this weekend Japan’s office ladies will be flocking to confectioners to purchase packets of obligatory giri-chokoreeto candies to present to male co-workers.

The logic of this custom, of giving sweets at the workplace on February 14, benefits only to those the retail and dental trade. But if the giver has no amorous feelings toward the recipient, it’s probably about as romantic as taking out the trash in the morning.

Some companies have even considered banning the practice outright — except, of course, when the feelings of affection between employees are genuine.

So then, what to give the man who has nothing (except his palm)? Tokyo Sports (Feb. 9), thinks that instead of sweets, the gals at the office ought to shell out their hard-earned money for something that’s certain to satisfy. To wit, one of the variety of high-tech, feel-so-good, self-pleasuring plastic products marketed by Tenga, which this month, it should be pointed out, is a sponsor of The Tokyo Reporter.

One woman in her 40s relates what happened when she bestowed her boss with a Tenga goodie on last year’s St. Valentine’s Day.

“When he opened the box, at first he froze up, but then at the moment he figured out what the Tenga was for, he beamed with delight,” she says. “The other office staff were gathered around to watch, and they let out a roar of laughter.”

The above story has got to be true — it’s impossible to make up stuff like this.

Becoming the recipient of the gift that keeps on coming, however, can elicit are all kinds of reactions. One gentleman turned to his benefactor, a woman in her 20s, and luridly suggested, “Tonight, what do you say we use it together?”

To which she firmly but politely declined.

Even when a Tenga device is given as a gag, such risks are always present. So women who present such gifts, with the sentiment that the man on the receiving end can be trusted to accept it gracefully, they may also be obliged to make efforts to do anything to avoid damaging that trust.

The biggest problem with presenting a Tenga may be the o-kaeshi (reciprocal gift) that’s due on March 14, White Day. For an inexpensive means of self-induced female frolic, Tokyo Sports suggests a keyholder-size, battery-powered female sex aid called “Mobile Derma,” which sells for 980 yen.

Needless to say, in the case of “H” gifts bestowed to either gender, the giver should take pains to ascertain beforehand that the corporate culture at one’s place of work is tolerant of this kind of sexual openness. (K.S.)

Source: “Eh? OL no aida de dairyuko, onani guzzu. ‘Giri’ nara choko yori ukeru,” Tokyo Sports (Feb. 9)

Note: Brief extracts from Japanese vernacular media in the public domain that appear here were translated and summarized under the principle of “fair use.” Every effort has been made to ensure accuracy of the translations. However, we are not responsible for the veracity of their contents. The activities of individuals described herein should not be construed as “typical” behavior of Japanese people nor reflect the intention to portray the country in a negative manner. Our sole aim is to provide examples of various types of reading matter enjoyed by Japanese.

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“In our most recent session of etchi (intercourse), I came in a unexpected place!” Yuka, a cabaret club hostess, tells Nikkan Gendai (Feb. 7) columnist Momo Kizuki, who bills herself as a “love body watcher.”

What kind of ‘unexpected place’ are we talking about? Doing it outdoors? Or on the dance floor of her club, in front of the other patrons?

“No, no, that’s not what I meant,” she replies. “By ‘place,’ I mean a part of the body. You see, I had an orgasm while getting screwed in my armpit!!”

Ooooh, that’s flaky.

But it seems there are some women whose armpits happen to be erogenous zones. Lick them in the right place — shall we call it their U-spot? — and they’ll cum. Although in Yuka’s case, it was her guy’s penis, not his tongue, that did the dirty deed.

Already familiar with the technique of sumata (rubbing the penis against a woman’s labia without actual vaginal penetration), Yuka’s boyfriend, bent on further experimentation, decided to take the plunge in her armpit. Applying lotion, he slipped it in between her bicep and upper torso, and now swears that with ample lubrication and a tight squeeze where it counts, armpit sex felt remarkably similar to the real thing.

It may sound a bit far fetched to believe that a squirt of slippery lotion and body warmth are enough to give an armpit the properties of the female reproductive organ, but hey, anything’s worth at least a try.

Of course, since the skin of the arm is exposed to the air, its surface tends to be comparatively harder, and is somewhat less sensitive than a vagina. But Nikkan Gendai’s writer says that when it comes to armpits, the softest skin is to be found where the sun don’t shine. If a gal’s armpit, for whatever reason, is unavailable for lustful activities, the inside of her thigh ought to work just as well in a pinch.

“So,” writes Momo, “For those of you who are getting jaded from run-of-the-mill everyday sex, here’s something new to try!” (K.S.)

Source: “Waki no shita ga asoko ni kawatta!” Nikkan Gendai (Feb. 7, page 21)

Note: Brief extracts from Japanese vernacular media in the public domain that appear here were translated and summarized under the principle of “fair use.” Every effort has been made to ensure accuracy of the translations. However, we are not responsible for the veracity of their contents. The activities of individuals described herein should not be construed as “typical” behavior of Japanese people nor reflect the intention to portray the country in a negative manner. Our sole aim is to provide examples of various types of reading matter enjoyed by Japanese.

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“The new guy who joined our company is really cute. He’s got the looks of a model picked by magazine readers, is diligent at learning the job, and is just the type of guy that a studious gal like me wants to take under her wing — so to speak.”

Thus begins an alluring amorous adventure from the pages of the November issue of Renai Tengoku (Love Heaven), as introduced on the pages of Shukan Bunshun (Feb. 2).

“A few days ago our staff went out drinking and I got really loaded,” she continues. “He chivalrously offered to see me home in a taxi. I thought I’d let him take me as far as the door, but all of a sudden he pulled me inside and began kissing me. It was like what had been a cute young subordinate had suddenly been transformed into a ferocious wolf.

“After he used a finger to confirm that I was aroused, I suddenly felt a hot object gradually going inside me. And the ferocity of his thrusts belied his innocent looks. As I trembled with pleasure he moved me to the bed, for repeated marathon sex sessions that continued until morning.

“The following Monday at the office, at the office some people were saying, accusatorily, ‘I wonder if you seduced your subordinate,’ but I denied it vociferously. After all, it was not me who did the seducing!”

Bunshun’s pseudonymous byline, “Aitsu wa, aitsu wa, mara-ii toshishita no otoko no ko,” is coined from The Candies’ 1975 pop hit, Toshishita no Otokonoko (Younger Boy), whose lyrics go, “That guy, that guy is a loveable younger boy.” Here the kawaii in “kawaii toshishita no otoko no ko” is punned to read mara ii toshishita no otoko no ko, meaning a younger guy with a good co*k. (W.W.)

Source: “Shukujo no zasshi kara,” Shukan Bunshun (Feb. 2, page 93)

Note: Brief extracts from Japanese vernacular media in the public domain that appear here were translated and summarized under the principle of “fair use.” Every effort has been made to ensure accuracy of the translations. However, we are not responsible for the veracity of their contents. The activities of individuals described herein should not be construed as “typical” behavior of Japanese people nor reflect the intention to portray the country in a negative manner. Our sole aim is to provide examples of various types of reading matter enjoyed by Japanese.

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On January 12, the Tokyo District Court ruled against Democratic Party of Japan diet member Yasuko Komiyama in a lottery ticket fraud scheme masterminded by her brother, reports Shukan Asahi Geino (Feb. 2).

The ruling requires the 46-year-old lawmaker and the other defendants, including her brother, Kenji Hashimoto, 41, her mother, and lottery ticket sales firm New Lottery Service, to pay 15 million yen and accrued interest over a five-year period to the victim.

In June 2010, Hashimoto, was arrested for allegedly defrauding the 45-year-old plaintiff, a resident of Tokyo, out of 4 million yen in a fictitious transfer of rights to lottery ticket sales booths. Hashimoto is still on trial.

In December 2003, the plaintiff loaned 15 million yen to the New Lottery Service, for which Hashimoto was a managing director. “Komiyama was there and said, ‘Since I am here to act as an overseer there is nothing to worry about,’ the plaintiff said. “She guaranteed the return of the loan in full. She even signed on as a co-signer. With her father (Jushiro Komiyama) being a former posts and telecommunications minister, I trusted her words.”

During the trial, Komiyama denied using her registered stamp and placing her signature on the documents. The court, however, concluded otherwise.

After the due date for the loan arrived, the plaintiff asked for the payback of the 15 million yen. Hashimoto, however, repeatedly asked for more time. Finally, Hashimoto said, “We cannot pay you back so we will transfer rights to sell lottery tickets. You will be able to generate income that way automatically.”

But the right to sell lottery tickets means transferring the ownership of a lottery ticket booth, which is prohibited by law.

Komiyama is best known for being one of “Ozawa girls,” a title that refers to the group of attractive female candidates dispatched to minor constituencies under the guidance of the DPJ’s scandal-plagued Secretary General, Ichiro Ozawa, for 2009′s lower house election. Komiyama was elected to the House of Representatives that year in Saitama District 7.

Shukan Asahi Geino speculates that the diet member’s political power was used as leverage in crafting the fraud. In the end, the plaintiff never received the promised lottery ticket rights.

“The brother kept collecting money from people even before the time he met the plaintiff,” says a Journalist who viewed the trial. “The total should reach two billion yen. According to the victims, he kept saying that things would turn around once his sister is elected.”

The writer adds that people associated with Komiyama said some money was allocated for her political activities: “Every time there was an election, talks centered around who will benefit from special rights.”

The verdict permits a seizure of Komiyama’s annual expenditures. Representatives of the plaintiff will file for repayment of the loan on February 10. (K.N.)

Source: “Minshuto Komiyama Yasuko Ozawa garuzu ‘sagi saiban’ de saihi sashiosaie,” Shukan Asahi Geino (Feb. 2, page 54)

Note: Brief extracts from Japanese vernacular media in the public domain that appear here were translated and summarized under the principle of “fair use.” Every effort has been made to ensure accuracy of the translations. However, we are not responsible for the veracity of their contents. The activities of individuals described herein should not be construed as “typical” behavior of Japanese people nor reflect the intention to portray the country in a negative manner. Our sole aim is to provide examples of various types of reading matter enjoyed by Japanese.

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Coinciding with the enactment of anti-organized crime legislation last year, Tokyo Metropolitan Police have been focusing multiple investigations on a lavish club in upscale Nishi Azabu frequented by show biz personalities, reports Shukan Post (Feb. 3).

The club is owned by the former president of a real estate company that went bankrupt with liabilities of 10 billion yen. He has been arrested for tax evasion, and the club seized. The Tokyo District Court ruled that the property is to be put up for auction.

“The club as well as the owner’s residence are inside the same　apartment building,” a person involved in the investigation tells the tabloid. “There are nine apartments in the building, and eight are intended for auction. After the ruling, a friend of the owner filed a preliminary claim for ownership of the other unit. So it has become impossible to auction the whole building.”

(Shukan Post does not give the name of the club, but a Google search reveals it to be Geihinkan Nishi Azabu. The owner is Daisuke Shioda, whose former real estate company is called ABC Home.)

Located in a quiet residential area, the salon is a retreat in the center of the city for famous celebs to gather each evening.

“At first glance it appears to be a typically luxurious apartment, but a look inside really exemplifies just how luxurious,” says a regular customer. According to the club’s Web site, a private room serving steak dinners is located on the third floor. A bar and lounge occupies the floor above. The fifth houses a jacuzzi outfitted with a karaoke system.

The regular adds: “At night, the Roppongi skyline is visible. On the roof, there is a heated pool. Celebrities come often because it is something of a private space; they don’t have to worry about being seen. They can really have a good time in their own element. Real V.I.P.s head to secret, private rooms outfitted with baccarat and mahjong tables.”

(Shukan Gendai reported that Shioda was injured in an incident last year at Geihinkan involving a former Yamaguchi-gumi member.)

And the clientele at the club included big names. A famous solo artist from the famous NHK New Year’s Eve “Kohaku Uta Gassen” show, a band vocalist, and a comedian are referred as “my best friends” to assembled guests. The president of a listed company that offers temporary staff services and the former member of famous idol group are also often invited to the club, where they are seen drinking with the owner.

(Shukan Bunshun reported last year in an article about organized crime and the entertainment world that singer Takako Uehara, of the idol group Speed, is a regular customer at Geihinkan. She subsequently filed a libel lawsuit against the publication.)

“A popular model who appears in women’s magazines comes frequently,” says an acquaintance of the owner of the club. “Usually when celebrities are around, there will be a few good-looking women sitting nearby. During the city’s fireworks shows, people move up to the rooftop. Fully clothed men and women can be seen taking the plunge into the pool. They are really debauched parties.”

According to the owner’s friend, the owner is working to solicit investors for overseas casino projects. He introduces celebrities to well-heeled, real estate moguls to establish trust.

However, it is the opinion of the Shukan Post journalist that this must create an uncomfortable situation for celebrities looking for women and alcohol.

The organized crime division of the Tokyo Metropolitan Police is currently investigating the relationship between the owner’s friend, who registered his name on one of the building’s units, and organized crime groups.

“The police want to establish the owner’s network as it is related to organized crime,” says the previously quoted investigator.

However, that would mean opening a real can of worms. “It will require investigating the world of show business and industries related to the owner,” the source adds. (K.N.)

Source: “Honshi kiho ‘geinojin maruhi saron’ ni iyoiyo ‘bohai sosa’ ga semaru!” Shukan Post (Feb. 3, pages 154)

Note: Brief extracts from Japanese vernacular media in the public domain that appear here were translated and summarized under the principle of “fair use.” Every effort has been made to ensure accuracy of the translations. However, we are not responsible for the veracity of their contents. The activities of individuals described herein should not be construed as “typical” behavior of Japanese people nor reflect the intention to portray the country in a negative manner. Our sole aim is to provide examples of various types of reading matter enjoyed by Japanese.

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When the springs on the beds at Ikaho spa, near Shibukawa City in Gunma Prefecture, got a little bit too hot, it was the police, not the fire department, that came to the rescue.

Nikkan Gendai (Jan. 25) reports that snack bar operator Kenichi Ando, Matsuba-kai gang member Jiro Sato and four others were arrested on a charge of violation of the Immigration Law and abetting prostitution. Specifically they lured two Thai women to Japan and charged them 5.5 million yen for “travel expenses,” which they were expected to pay back by engaging in the world’s oldest profession.

The two women, ages 32 and 35, were taken into protective custody.

According to police, when not working, the women were held in a padlocked room.

“The women claimed they were threatened by their keepers, who told them, ‘If you don’t pay back what you owe us, you’ll be going back home to Thailand in a white shroud.’” a police source is quoted as saying. He added the women charged their customers 12,000 yen per hour-long session, which allegedly included intercourse. “A woman from Taiwan also seems to be involved, we’re looking into her role in the prostitution.”

“Tricking foreign women into working as hookers is one form of ‘white slavery,’ “pink” journalists Yukio Murakami tells the paper. “It’s one of the ways gangs make their money. Japanese recruit women from Thailand and the Philippines, and set them up with gangsters. The women are then taken to lonely hot springs where men visit solely for meeting prostitutes. Most of the action is upstairs over the snack bar.

“The keepers eavesdrop on the women while they’re turning tricks to make sure they don’t beg the customers to help them,” Murakami adds.

The women are only paid enough to buy bento (boxed meals) and cosmetics, and are prohibited from going out. Until their “loans” are repaid, they are made to work like “horses pulling carts.”

“If a woman is attractive and popular, then about the time that she’s worked off her loan she’ll be told, ‘A customer complained about your poor service, and we’re levying a fine on you,’ or some other lie to keep her on the job longer,” Murakami adds. “In addition to Filipinas and Thais, females from Russia living in Tokyo and other cities who have run up large debts are also sent to work in the onsen gulag.”

Nikkan Gendai sternly advises its readers against having anything to do with such criminal enterprises. (K.S.)

Source: “Tai josei ni baishun kyoyo; ichijikan niman-en ‘jinshin baibai’ no jittai,” Nikkan Gendai (Jan. 25, page 7)

Note: Brief extracts from Japanese vernacular media in the public domain that appear here were translated and summarized under the principle of “fair use.” Every effort has been made to ensure accuracy of the translations. However, we are not responsible for the veracity of their contents. The activities of individuals described herein should not be construed as “typical” behavior of Japanese people nor reflect the intention to portray the country in a negative manner. Our sole aim is to provide examples of various types of reading matter enjoyed by Japanese.

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